I'm having bariatric surgery.
Gastric Sleeve bariatric surgery to be precise.
I tried to come up with some witty introduction or winding pathway to get to that announcement, but, as Steve Sanders once said, sometime you just need to do a naked cannonball and get it over with.
It's interesting to me to see those words in print. I've talked about it, a lot; but, I've not written it down like that until now.
I'm a proponent of journaling--as in, many of my clients groan when I mention it--but this feels more significant to me than keep the words just to myself. So, why not blog instead?
In future posts I'll talk more about the 'what' and the personal 'why' and all of those kinds of things. But, for this first one, I primarily simply needed to write out the words. To see them and know that when I hit 'publish', I will no longer be able to hide or shield myself from the reality of my body or what others think when they see me.
I don't know how many posts there will be about this particular life choice and event; regardless, there are things I want to make clear from the beginning:
1) I am doing this for me. It is a choice I am making for me and me alone.
2) Bariatric surgery is not the answer for everyone. If you are reading this and are in a place in your life that you are also thinking about it, please know you need to go on your own investigation and discovery.
3) It took a long time for me to make peace with my feelings of hypocrisy and 'taking the easy way out'. I've made that peace and I do not intend to justify my choices. I might talk about those things in future posts, but will not defend my choice to those who feel the need to throw the negative.
4) I have fears. I'm not pretending this is going to 'fix anything' or that it will be 'the thing' that changes my life.
5) I am not broken. I do not need to be fixed. My life does not need to be changed. I am not doing this to achieve a certain look. Again, see number 1.
6) I am most excited to have a body that allows me to do the things I have desire and passion to do. I have nephews and nieces I want to adventure with. I have workouts that allow me to feel strong and empowered and I need to be able to do them without feeling defeated during or after.
7) I am making this a public journey to continue removing the stigma and maybe help others along the way. I am not endorsing this as the choice for everyone. It is a significant shift in thinking and behavior and you are the only one to know if you're ready to take that on.
So, if you're still with me, thank you! There is a long road ahead and I will keep you posted (see what I did there?) along the way. To my amazing support team of family and friends--your words and reactions this last month have been the push of courage to make this blog a reality.
Finally, if you want to make sure you don't miss any of this journey, take a moment to subscribe to the blog.